Trying to Live With Balance

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Reflecting on different times in life I realize the moments that have the most peace and contentment are the times when I was restoring some balance in life.  It seems we all have at least four key elements of life that can get out of balance and when they do, chaos is more than willing to show up.

I believe these four key elements revolve around the following…

Physical Life = Time focused on health and physical fitness

Emotional Life = Time with friends and family

Mental Life = Time spent reading or learning something or having an interesting discussion

Spiritual Life = Time spent in worship or prayer or feeding our faith

Now many times these elements overlap, which is great but it can also be deceiving.  Many people live with any of these three out of four areas of life getting plenty of time and attention.  Eventually that one area of your life that has been put aside will creep up and show itself and we just don’t know how or when.

Imagine carrying a yoke (a wooden frame that fits your shoulders) that has four buckets of water hanging off it, two buckets on each side.  While you carry this load, as long as the four buckets have an equal amount of water it is easier to stand and move forward.  If one bucket has less than the other three you could still maintain balance with extra effort on your part but moving forward would be very slow.  You could also try to put less in one bucket on each side to help balance but as you move along you will not have enough to share with others to help them balance.  Thankfully, our heavenly father knows us and knows we struggle with this balance.  He sent his Son into the world to save us from our sins.  In the bible in the Gospel of Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden in light.”

I encourage you to look for ways to achieve balance in your life by examining which bucket(s) you have the least water in and begin to fill them with time.

I pray that you are blessed on your faith journey today.

Attitude and Perspective

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The above picture taken by my wife shows four very important people in the history of our country.  They chose some incredible ways to respond to adversity and trouble in the world they lived in.

Today I want to share a poem by Charles Swindoll that sums up everything I could ever share about what everybody should focus their energy on while living in this world…

Attitude

by Charles Swindoll

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Indeed…we are all in charge of our Attitude towards every situation in life.  Life is not all about what happens to us…it is all about how we choose to respond to what has occurred in our lives.  How will you choose to respond?

Peace to you and yours.

Surrender but Don’t Give Up

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In my opinion in our society and our world today…to surrender, by definition is to yield to the power of another, however, to give up is to quit.  Depending on your context one is a transition and the other carries a negative connotation or a defeated and deflated feeling.  When we listen to the news on TV or read about events online it is easy to feel defeated and deflated by how people in this world choose to treat each other.

Don’t give up…..we live in a fallen world and it is very easy at times to believe that all is lost.  The Good News is…that is not true.  We practice surrender and don’t give up more often than we realize.

For example, you are sitting at your computer doing the things you love (like reading blogs) and something happens…the computer stops responding and then starts popping up boxes and then the “blue screen”.  What happened?  You begin to “troubleshoot” with your vast PC knowledge…you are spending hours trying everything to recover what has been lost…a working computer.  Alas, you have exhausted your abilities and still nothing.  So what do you do?  Do you give up?  Never use that computer again?  No.  You surrender to others who have worked on and repaired computers for living, they often work for companies that create and develop new computer technology.

Now back to our fallen world…there we are living our lives doing the things we love when out of nowhere the world seems to stop responding to us and events keep popping up that trouble us and then we lay down in defeat looking up at the “blue SKY”……wow isn’t this a beautiful day!

Don’t give up on this world.  Surrender to the Creator…he knows what is troubling you.  The best part about faith is it comes with a guide book…the bible.  On this blog I have a Favorite Bible Verses page that I will change from time to time.  The guide book that has been provided us tells us not to give up but trust in God.  Here are two verses I look to:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

                                                                                                                     Proverbs 3:5-6

“I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”

                                                                                                                     Psalm 27:13-14

So take all your problems, all your concerns and lift them up and surrender them to God.  He knows you better than you know him and he loves you unconditionally no matter what.

Find your guide book and open it.

Friends and Friendships

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I read a quote on a P.S I Love You poster hanging on the wall, it states:

“Friends are like a beautiful garden.  They require regular care.”

How true that is.  Friends are very much like a garden.

You could also add that you only get out of it what you put in to it!  A garden can be a beautiful thing to look at and bring joy to you and others.  If you spend time working on them every day.  You start by making sure they have a good foundation or growing environment.  You provide soil that is full of good nutrients and holds the moisture.  When you put in the flowers you need to give them space to grow.  Then there is the routine of watering and most importantly pulling out those stubborn weeds.  With regular care your garden can grow and prosper.

When I consider my friends and my friendships I would say that the ones I give the most “care” or time too are definitely the relationships that are doing the best and have grown the most.  In my best friendships I am aware that they have a good growing environment and are given space to change and grow.  I often attend to them with phone calls, emails or a text message.  Most importantly, I try to always be available when the “weeds” of life are becoming too difficult to deal with by themselves.

I have also learned that sometimes God brings friends into your life at just the right time to be messengers.  Some friends are only in your life briefly; they serve a purpose in God’s plan and move on while others are with you much longer.  God himself also wants to be one of your lifelong friends…all you would need to do for that to happen is give your friendship/relationship with God some regular care. 

Meet with him every day in a quiet and peaceful place or room…there are no rules regarding how long to do it and no right ways or wrong ways to meet with him…just find a place that feels right to you and talk to him…as I stated at the beginning…you will only get out of it what you put into it!  Talk to him, he is waiting to hear from you.

Peace be with you.

A Moment When I Followed My Faith

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I have spent many years focusing on where I work and what I am doing in my career.  The whole time God has been working his plan for me even though I was doing a poor job paying attention to him.  I had my first experience of really looking to hear God in a situation related to my work in 2004.

I had spent the prior 12 years working in different restaurants and coffee companies and had acquired knowledge and many skills needed to run a business.  I had my dream of owning and operating my own business.  My job at the time was as a new store opening GM for a company we will call restaurant B.  When I had started with restaurant B I had also interviewed for an HR position with a different restaurant company we will call restaurant A.  I had worked for restaurant B for 6 months and was getting frustrated with personnel that were causing stress and frustration.  I was turning in my notice because I had found an opportunity to complete a purchase of my own coffee cafe.  I was very excited for this opportunity.  I had already deposited $1,000 in earnest money towards this purchase.  There was risk of course, by this time my wife and I had two kids.  A 7 year old and a 3 year old and we had a mortgage and a car payment as well.  Nevertheless, I felt confident in my abilities that all would go well.  As the end of my employment at restaurant B arrived I was setting up meetings with a broker and the sellers of the cafe to begin completing my purchase.

Then one day…the phone rings…restaurant A, which I last had contact with 6 months ago was calling because they had a new opening in their HR-payroll department and they wanted to meet with me again.  It turns out that they ended up offering me a full-time position with salary and benefits and M-F 9-5, etc.  At this time, I felt it was necessary to try and listen to God first and my own worldly desires second.  I spent time discussing the options with my wife and I prayed…..

God I have before me 2 opportunities and I am not sure which way to turn…one would be fulfilling a dream and following my passion…the other offers security and stability for my young family…please guide me to what you have in your plan.

Wouldn’t it be nice if in these moments you could just hear God’s voice from a burning bush or something?  Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.  I continued to discuss with my wife and after sleeping on it and searching my feelings the next morning I knew what I had to do.  I would take the job and put the dream on hold.  I called the broker and gave him the news and after I hung up the phone…I cried and not just a tear running down my face I was bawling my head off which I hadn’t done since I was a child.  I felt it must have been the right thing to do because it was definitely the hardest thing to do.

Looking back it was the right thing to do at that time as proceeding with the cafe would have been selfish and would have left no regard for my wife and kids or my responsibilities as a husband and father.  Plus the 5 years I ended up working at the corporate office of restaurant company A turned out to be a time that I learned many valuable things about myself and about some abilities I never knew I possessed.

 Of course, when I made the decision I didn’t know how it would turn out but isn’t that faith?  We don’t have all the answers and we need to admit that and then trust God.  The trust God part also means we need to keep our hearts and mind focused on him by meeting with him daily so when he sends a message through our conscience or through other people we will get the message because we are listening.

How or when do believe God has been or was working in your life?

Looking Back…God Has Always Been Near

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As I continue to reflect on my faith journey, I have come to realize that God has always been in control and here I thought I had my hands on the wheel of life…bad things happen to everybody.  We all experience that moment of “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that, that is terrible” either something bad happens directly to us or to someone we care about or to a complete stranger.  We also all experience the “Why doesn’t anything go my way?” feeling at one time or another.

Here is what I have learned…the key to these moments is your perspective.  The more you think about “me” or “I” or “how this or that affects me” the more you may feel bad or negative about things.  Trying to focus more on how what has happened affects “him” or “her” or “them” and what can I do to help and support him or her or them will not only help others but also will help how you feel.  This is not an easy transition and just like faith you never completely finish working this part of life.

An example to demonstrate…

When I graduated from college there was nothing available in my field in business.  I worked in restaurants while continuing to search for a position in my chosen major, Human Resources.  This went on for 10 years before the first opportunity to work in my field presented itself as I was able to make more money in restaurant operations positions than in Human Resources.  Finally, a chance was presented and I was able to able to start my career.  I have spent the last 11 years working in my chosen field.

Here is what God was doing while I was focusing on “my career”…

In my first restaurant job after college he brought the woman I was going to marry and am still married to today into my life.  Early in our marriage when we moved to CO for a job for me he blessed us with our first child.  When we moved home to MN he led my wife and I to our church that we still attend now.  He also placed me in a job next to a Christian college that broadcasts a Christian radio station that I have listened to for the last 15 years.  He continues to guide and grow my faith and my family in many ways which I can only see if I am focusing on God and my relationship with him and others instead of myself.

The time period in my life described above is the same number of years…in both descriptions the only difference is the perspective of events.  If I choose to focus only on my work it is not very fulfilling or rewarding, in fact it is frustrating.  I now try to look at work through this perspective:

“Scripture adds a purely benevolent purpose to work: to earn money to provide for our needs and the needs of our families and then to give it away to others.  The overwhelming thrust of the Scriptures is that as God sees fit to prosper us, our abundance should begin to spill over and start benefiting others who, for a variety of reasons, are in need.”

               -Doug Sherman and William Hendricks, Men’s Devotional Bible

What ways can you start to change your perspective and try to find balance between focus on self and focus on others?

Freedom

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Over the years, so many that have served in the military have paid the ultimate price in this world.  To lay down your life so that others can prosper.  As we live this day let us not forget the gift that they and that Jesus has given us all.  As Paul wrote in Galatians 5:13-15…

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love.  The entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself.  If you keep biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”

May God bless you and your family and friends this day and may we forgive those we have been “biting and devouring” in our own lives.  Peace to you all.

Prayer and Speaking to God

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My next experience of faith was in college.  One of my best friends lost his brother in a plane crash.  I didn’t know what to do or where to go…something told me to go to the Catholic Church some of us had started attending occasionally in our third year of college.  It was at night and the door was locked…I went over to the living quarters and knocked and asked if I could get into the church to pray because I figured that is where I needed to be.  The pastor looked me up and down, probably thinking a college kid asking to get into the church at night in a college town…he declined my request.  Well now what.  Feeling rejected I walked over to my car in the parking lot and looked back towards the church.  The moon was shining with some clouds passing by right behind the steeple…I looked with wonder and then I started to speak…

God, I don’t know what to do or what to say but please help my friend and his family during this sad time and this tragic event…help them anyway you can.  I don’t know what I can do but I know you can help them.

It’s my opinion that this was my first real prayer because it had an attitude of belief behind it that wasn’t there when I would “recite” a prayer during church when I was younger.

What was it like the first time you truly spoke to God?

How did the faith journey begin for me?

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ImageI grew up going to a Catholic church with my family; we went to mass every Sunday and on holidays.  I was baptized, celebrated first communion and completed confirmation.  As a child and a teenager church was something we did before football games on Sunday because we had to…I didn’t know why.  My first real exposure to faith as a part of life occurred at the age of 16.  My father lost his job and for several days and weeks afterward he was going to the church everyday…not just Sunday.  Why would he do that?  What is going on there every day?  We never discussed it but I definitely noticed.  Those “actions” by my father told me more about his faith than any words he could have said to me.  Today, as a father of a 16 year old girl and a 12 year old boy I try hard to remember my actions say more about my faith than anything I say to them.

What is your first memory of experiencing faith or seeing faith in others?

Who Am I?

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Hello and Welcome,

My name is Marty Calcagno.  I have started this blog based on my faith.  I have been married for just over 18 years and I am a father of two kids.  I believe that faith is a journey…a personal relationship with God the Father and Jesus his son guided by the Holy Spirit.  There is so much to learn and experience when you decide that faith is important to you and you are going to try and put it first in your life.  My journey to this point has been slow at the start and picking up speed in the last 5 years.  Now I am at the point where I want to share it with others and I hope that it may make a difference in their lives some day.  Let the journey continue…..